When was the last time you tried something totally new?
I don’t know who might benefit from this nudge today. I often have friends who are standing on the precipice of something totally new, uncertain if they’re ready for the change. I hope that today’s ramble might inspire you to take the leap. (And if you are pondering something new, talk to me! I want to hear all about it!)
It’s not often that I get to have completely new experiences in adult life. When I think about “new experiences,” I tend to envision a rolodex that vaguely resembles an Airbnb Experiences catalog. It’s stuff like going to Topgolf for the first time or taking a pottery class, which are fun ways to pass time but not particularly stimulating. For me, a truly new experience has to be something of the magnitude of going on study abroad, moving to a totally new place, going on a six day solo backpacking trip, or taking a year off for funemployment.
This past week, I got to have one of these truly new experiences and here are my meta reflections on trying something totally new:
My brain is so stimulated—I am registering things about the world for the first time. I’m trying to make sense of them, create a catalog, and spot patterns or trends. I’m taking in new sounds, smells, feelings, sensations. Sometimes this happens in the moment, and other times this happens in the days afterwards, as I process everything.
I’m constantly reconciling the new experiences with what I already know. It could be matching it up with my expectations, my preconceptions, or other experiences I’ve had before that feel potentially similar. Sometimes there are more moments of recognition than I expect, or I’ll feel a strong wave of déjà vu. Other times, I’m entirely unable to juxtapose the experience alongside my existing catalog.
The totally new stuff is fascinating to tease apart. Sometimes, I relive certain recent memories and turn over each one to see if it feels different each time. Sometimes it’s discussing specific moments with others who were there and breaking down what happened from each person’s vantage point. I have spent hours and hours doing this and can’t yet see myself tiring of the exercise.
I love being surprised. I didn’t think that I would. Over time, so many new experiences have been so unpredictable that I’ve gradually had to adjust. Now, I find that I enjoy more of the experience in real time. I let myself melt into the experience—the experience happens to me. It’s a lot less work, it’s way more enjoyable, and it’s very freeing. Letting go of expectations lets me live really presently: in the moment, fully immersed. I’m not sizing up every minute against a rubric and deciding if it met the expectation or failed. It just exists.
I’m also less likely to over-prepare to the point of diminishing returns. I used to be someone who wanted to know exactly how things would play out so I could be prepared. Now, I barely even think about what I need to do to prepare.
It’s made me get significantly better at trusting myself and my abilities. I know that I have a solid toolbox that empowers me to make the most of whatever happens. As I go through new experiences and nothing falls apart entirely or goes totally awry, I’m slowly getting positive reinforcement that I can take whatever it is that is thrown my way.
So, all of this is to say:
Try new things—it’s really cool! Take the leap.
The more you do it, the easier it gets.
There’s usually diminishing returns when it comes to being prepared for the unknown. (Duh?)
I gained your insight when I turned almost 60. Happy for you to be there at your age.