I’ve spent a lot of time examining time from a number of angles lately. Here are some of my reflections, in no particular order. My self-assessment is that I am above average plagued by an unending anxiety about time passing me by, and so maybe I’m a bit of a time hypochondriac. (And possibly, I’m spending too much time thinking about time.)
Being rich in time is truly a privilege. To sit and have a minute to oneself, with full autonomy over how to spend that minute, to really bask in that minute and let it fully encompass oneself. As with most new parents (probably), I’m realizing how many minutes I used to have at my disposal, and I’m extra grateful for the (rare handful of) minutes that feel truly like mine these days.
Time goes by as quickly or as slowly as we choose to frame it. On the one hand, every day is a huge percentage of a baby’s life. On the other, a week feels like a drop in the bucket when you’re an adult. I often think about how signing a one year lease on an apartment feels so short relative to the month or so that it takes to unpack, get furniture, and settle in. But at the same time, I went abroad during college for just over four months, and that felt so long at the time. It’s all about framing.
Seasons are great bookends for life. I’m most motivated to take advantage of life when I identify the finite chapter in which I’m currently living. Remembering that four seasons amounts to a year brings me so much motivation. It keeps me on my toes and motivates me to take advantage of things that only happen once a year. It also helps me mark the passing of time over the years. (I always found this challenging living in California, because memories were hard to place without any significant change in the weather.)
An hour can feel so different depending on the context. Some hours, such as 5-6pm on a weekday, are high density—this is an hour where I need to finish making dinner, wrap up work for the day (ideally), squeeze in reading a storybook with the baby, and maybe even duck out for a “quick” 10 minute errand. Then there are hours that feel spacious, where I lie on the playmat being silly with the baby, forgetting where my phone is, and not even noticing that the sun has moved. People often talk in terms of “I make x dollars an hour and it only costs me y dollars per hour to outsource blah task.” However, for me, it depends on the hour and the task. I’ve done a lot of contemplation on whether outsourcing helps. For me, the answer matrix entails which hour, what task, how good am I at doing it vs someone else, how much do I enjoy doing it, and how easy is it to outsource? The market for my hours is a complex one with its own unique economy.
Time passing isn’t enough for me to feel satisfied. One of the feelings I hate the most is going to bed and not being able to recount anything fun I did that day. It makes me feel like my time wasn’t actually mine. If all I did was wake up, go to work, eat my meals, and then check off life admin and chores, the day feels bleh. Very bleh. I’m very big on needing small moments of joy whether it’s getting a coffee in the morning on a walk before I start my work day or having a phone call with a friend to catch up, or doing something out of the ordinary for myself or with a loved one. (Or sometimes, even just knowing that I knocked out an extra big chore on a weekday.)
Sometimes it’s okay to spend a lot of time in transit, even if it’s for a relatively short “actual” event. I used to view time in transit as unproductive, but nowadays, time in transit when I’m alone feels like a gift—I can listen to music or be in my own peace. Even if it takes me half an hour each way to get to something that only lasts an hour or so, I’ve decided that often times it’s worth the effort. The time in transit is a small bonus cherry on top to the “actual” event. It’s counterintuitive, especially when the hours feel so precious, but it’s also very psychologically freeing to realize this. I’ve stopped calculating ROI on my time relative to transit time.
If any of this resonates, let me know. I’m always down to spend more time talking about time with friends. And happy autumn / changing of the seasons!
Very relatable 🥲 since going back to work I feel my time is very constrained on weekdays