On dying with zero (part 2 of 2)

Alt title: I'm tired of repeating the same soapbox to all my friends about Die With Zero, so I'm writing it out for once and for all

Welcome back! If you missed my last newsletter, this will make a lot more sense if you catch up here first.

Last newsletter tl;dr

I’ve always believed in balancing making money and spending money in order to maximize for life experiences. Reading Die With Zero helped me put some words around my personal philosophy of using money to make the most out of my life, rather than centering my life around making money. See last week’s newsletter for key quotes from the book and my three learnings around how to shift my mindset in life:

1. Recognize that each chapter in life is finite to make the most of it. Define these chapters and prioritize what to do in each chapter accordingly.

2. Unlearn habits that are associated with scarcity mindset. Think about how my dollar goes furthest in each chapter of life and spend bravely.

3. Figure out what I actually value. Live my life for me and not for anyone else.

Last time, I went into detail on #1 and today, I’ll dive into #2 and #3.

2: Unlearn habits that are associated with scarcity mindset. Think about how my dollar goes furthest in each chapter of life and spend bravely.

I was first introduced to the idea of consumption smoothing in college. The example I was given was, “Splurge on the $40 bottle of wine today, because it’s going to taste so good to you right now compared to the two buck chuck. When you make a lot of money in the future, the $40 bottle of wine will not bring the same meaning to you. You should spend against future earnings today to maximize enjoyment.”

(I’m not entirely sure that I’ve done the concept justice so I’d recommend reading up on this separately if you’re interested.)

Regardless, what stuck with me is the idea that spending a dollar on X today might be infinitely more valuable to me than spending it on X in ten years. I often feel guilt when I spend money on non-essentials (which is pretty often). Leading myself through this mental exercise each time I catch myself holding back has been a helpful way to calibrate if the additional spending is worthwhile.

After reading Die With Zero, I tried to take this line of thinking further as I plotted out the different chapters of my life. My goal in doing this was to give future me permission to spend bravely, particularly on areas that I might have otherwise labeled as lavish, unnecessary, or splurgey.

Examples include:

• I am relatively fit and able-bodied currently, so I’m pretty comfortable taking public transit when I travel even with luggage. When I am older and less strong, I’ll probably disproportionately value (even, need) taking a taxi from the airport to my hotel

• I don’t currently believe that hiring a cleaner is worth it, because it’s fairly fast for me to keep my apartment clean throughout the week. However, if I have a young child and I’m trying to spend more time with them (or getting extra rest), I can see this becoming exponentially more valuable

The other shift I’m also trying to embrace is spending generously on anything that relates to my physical wellbeing. Whether it’s workout classes or eating healthily, I’m working on remembering that the dollars spent towards taking care of my body today are the best investment I can make in my future.

3: Figure out what I actually value. Live my life for me and not for anyone else.

I’m living my life for me and no one else. That’s a big lesson I’ve relearned and really understood during my gap year. At the end of the day, I am accountable to myself. When I go to bed at night, if I don’t feel great, it’s either because I didn’t eat well enough, exercise, put myself in the right space emotionally, or be kind enough to myself. Doing what other people wanted me to do isn’t going to fill my personal cup in life if it isn’t aligned with what I want to do.

I ask myself often, if I died tomorrow, can people say, “She died while doing what she loved the most”? It can be hard to grapple with this question especially if I’m having a particularly bad day, but I try to always zoom out a little. I think about the last week. The last month. The last year. Did I do all the things that mattered the most? Did I do everything that I actually wanted to?

I feel deeply fortunate to be able to say yes – I did and I am. Before my adult gap year, I often struggled with this question because it felt like all I had been focused on was work. I didn’t have any good examples from the past few years where I’d lived my life just for me. I was in a chapter where growing professionally and building up my savings and safety net was the key priority. Had I been asked this same question a year ago, I would have been hard pressed to say yes in response.

Now, months into my adult gap year, I’ve been allowing myself to relax and wander and be curious about the world around me. I’ve been indulgent, having days where I just read and explore the places I’m visiting. I’ve tipped the scales in favour of this new balance, where when I look back on the sum of the past few years, I’ve hit all the different buckets that need filling in my life by rotating through them.

The realistic solution isn’t to fill them all perfectly all the time. There are going to be different focuses in each chapter of life, but on average across all the chapters – without waiting too many years for this – it should even out.

I know that when I look back on all this in a few months, once I’m back at work, I’m going to remember that I’m once again in a new chapter with a new focus to balance out the priorities that I’ve met during my gap year.

But what matters the most in all of this is that I’m not going back to work to meet someone else’s needs – I’m going back to work to fill my own buckets of exploring my intellectual interests, challenging myself to grow as a professional, meeting new people at work, and building financial security for my family.

Tl;dr

#2: Beyond dividing life up into finite chapters, in order to maximize the experiences you gain in each chapter, it’s also important to unlearn habits that stem from the scarcity mindset and learn to spend bravely. Part of this is recognizing how to spend your money on the activities, services, experiences, or objects that will bring you the most value in each given phase of life.

#3: You have to figure out what makes you happy and where you derive the most value in life, rather than living for what other people expect. There will be units of time where you’re focused on a particular priority in your life and other needs/priorities may go unmet, but make sure that these units of time are finite and you rotate between them to meet all of your various needs.