How I'm working on owning my privilege
And why I was inspired to do this better, despite how crazy it might sound
Over the course of my adult gap year, privilege has been a recurring theme. Without the privilege of financial stability, a good education, sufficient work experience, and being in a flexible field, I wouldn’t be able to embark on this time away from work.
I’ve thought a lot about how to wear my privilege, starting with: Do I wear it at all, or should I dodge the topic altogether?
On the one hand, it’s incredibly challenging to respond to comments like “That’s so awesome, I wish I could afford to do that” or “I’m so jealous, I wish this was allowed in my line of work.” But on the other hand, it also feels weird to ignore it altogether.
Recently, I’ve become attuned to the reality that I (and many of my friends / acquaintances) don’t know how to talk about privilege when it divides us. We do a good job of addressing privilege when it’s a collective experience, such as discussing elite education with college friends, or discussing financial security with other working professionals.
When privilege becomes the leading reason behind our differences, we start to tiptoe around the topic.
A few examples that come to mind are friends who are young but own property on which their parents helped make a downpayment, friends who have entered careers similar to their parents and benefited from the soft skills and contextual familiarity, or friends who work in family businesses and have quickly risen to senior leadership roles.
Obviously, it’s awkward to talk about privilege: it’s most often out of our control and not something from which we can easily walk away. And additionally, talking about privilege can sometimes feel like bragging. For me, this is a huge part of why I’ve dodged the topic of my privilege: sometimes discussing privilege feels too close to discussing my strengths. Though they are inherently different, I have a tendency to just sweep over them and attribute anything positive to good luck or being in the right place at the right time. While this might be an acceptable approach for discussing one’s strengths (debatable as well), the more I think about it, the more certain I become that this is the wrong approach for addressing privilege.
When I think about the people whom I respect the most, there are certain patterns. They’re straightforward and direct communicators. They’re willing to acknowledge their privilege.
And I’ve noticed something about myself and my reaction:
When someone successful acknowledges their privilege head-on, I generally react quite neutrally or even positively.
I don’t wince or shy away from it. I accept it as a reality and a fact. It’s a lot more objective than subjective, and allows me to focus on everything else in their story. Moreover, it also tends to reflect positively on the person who’s been aware and transparent.
Going forward, my personal goal is to be more forthright about my privilege and my strengths. I’ve habitually swept them under the rug, which isn’t helping anyone. I want to be better at owning who I am and how I got to where I am today. This will also provide a clearer lens through which others can understand my story. If I’m clear about where privilege played a role, then others can also better level set their own experiences in comparison to mine.
Next time I talk about my adult gap year, I’m going to go beyond just saying, “I’m lucky” or “I was in the right place at the right time.” I’m going to share more about how privilege – through my education, work experiences, and financial literacy – have all played a part in making it possible for me to take this gap year.
Tl;dr
We often sweep the topic of privilege under the rug in conversations. This does a disservice to others because it doesn’t allow them a clear view of all the factors behind our respective successes and achievements in life. I believe that if we’re more transparent and direct about acknowledging our privilege, we provide others with a better ability to understand our individual experiences.