Hello, and welcome!
What exactly is this blog about anyway?
Pssst… I think if you click this little button below, you’ll get updates whenever I make new posts in your inbox directly! Also, there’s a TL;DR at the bottom of the page.
Why am I writing?
I want to capture my experience. I hope that by sharing a bit of what happens behind the Instagram photos and my resume on LinkedIn, I can help others who might share parts of my story/background or otherwise relate to my experiences feel a bit less alone. I want to use this as a space to reflect on the topics that don’t always make their way into day-to-day conversations, whether those are at work, with friends, or with family. There are valuable lessons that I have learned along my way, which I am excited to share with others so that they can apply them where useful.
The inspiration for this blog comes in large part from some of the most fulfilling and fascinating conversations I’ve had with friends over the last few years. Naturally, I have a number of friends who are similar in age and background. As we’ve made our way out of school and into the workforce, I have often found that we share similar frustrations, doubts, questions, and challenges in the workplace. It’s been an absolute privilege to have these friends not just to lean on but also to exchange advice with. Some of our conversations have been so good that I’ve always thought about how it would be cool to share them on a blog anonymously. I’m looking forward to reading through some of our chat histories and redacting certain conversations to share here.
Why the title?
The title for this blog is one of the phrases I bring up the most in these conversations with my friends. It’s something I also constantly ask myself. When I’m at a crossroads and trying to juggle advice of the “lean in” or “stand up for yourself” flavour versus worrying about how others might perceive me, if I’m being too aggressive or pushy, I find a lot of comfort in taking a step back and asking myself, “What would a white man do in this situation?”
It’s usually not the final answer, but it’s a really powerful way to pull myself out of the decision paralysis and the overthinking. There are moments when I tend to hold back and overindex on all my concerns, and this reminder encourages me to push myself a little more to be assertive, certain, or loud as needed. For me, this phrase encapsulates so much more than a generalization, which it may seem like at first glance. I’ve shared this with many others with whom it’s resonated deeply.
What I’m not trying to do with this blog.
This is really important. I can’t speak to anyone’s experience other than my own. My hope is that there are facets of my experience that others can relate to. But I can’t – and am not trying to – capture anyone else’s experience in here. I’m not trying to generalize or make statements on behalf of any groups that I may belong to or be associated with.
Come at me.
I will write things that are contentious – they may cause uproar or at the very least, raise eyebrows and spark discussion. I bet that’s going to be super hard for me because I have often struggled without external validation. In particular, I find it hard to put something personal out into the world and have it not be met with positive reception. This is going to be a great opportunity for me to be challenged and stretched and grow.
And it will be hard at times, but I also believe that if I put something out into the world and 99 people disagree but it resonates with 1 person and they learn something from me, then that’s worth my while. The one thing that motivates me the most in anything I do has always been the people. My favourite part about working in consulting was being able to mentor others on the team, share my experiences, and support them as they grew. Today at work, there’s nothing that gets me going more than when I see a problem that I can tackle and, as a result, improve someone else’s life at work, whether it enables them to be more productive, feel more inspired/motivated/valued/happier, or both.
Tl;dr
I’m looking forward to sharing my reflections. I titled the blog because this is a question I ask myself often when figuring out what to do or how to behave. I would love to hear in the comments if you have any phrases that you often use, which I can add to my vocabulary.
looking forward to reading more posts :)